日本に帰る前に、今の気持ちはどんなやろう、とペンと紙一枚を手に外の刈りたての芝生に寝転びながら、書いてみました。

思っとったよりサラサラっと書けたけん、ごっついやん、とかなんて自分で感心してしもうたりも。

まぁせっかくなので、英語タウンの読者の方々にも読んでもらおうと思って、公開することに決めました。

From the moment my eyes caught souls of the two people I loved, floating in the air as grayish smoke that I could never reach and never would be able to see again, my mind had been ready to bear another death.

I was lying.

Through the lives of human beings, we are forced to see what is waiting in the end of our destinies and goals.

Life is disappointing.

People are meant to be together and to fond love that is passed from generations to generations. Such a beloved bond between two people creates a new unit - a family.

The family I belonged to is a family where we used to love each other. We laughed a lot, ate, and slept together in a small room. Is it still what it used to be?

Things are always changing.

Now I am not confident enough to say that I am looking forward to going back to the family I loved and belonged. Does it make me a bad son?

I am pondering.

In lives, people are labeled as something. Right now, I am a son whose mind is not ready. Not ready to go back to what I used to be.

The more I care about them, the more I have to lie. I have to be a son who dares to volunteer.

Have I not made enough sacrifices already?

If I haven't, just tell me so because if that is what you want, I will make another sacrifice.

I will be a son of whom you will be proud.

At least this time, I will try.

As I am fashioning my mind into words, you are probably suffering from the pain and fading memories that you've been trying to get back. Probably your sacrifice is not enough to bring back what you long?

The time has come.

I don't know if you'll be there when I am back, but I will be there.

Hope you'll be ready by then.