After my grandma passed away, there was so much stuff that we had to do, as you all know.

I liked being busy, and so did my family. Business helped us forget sadness. In such a situation, one thing I realized was that my dad was once a boy of hers and still was a son of hers.

Looking at his back and shoulders just made me wonder about what he was thinking in his mind. I saw more gray hair in his well-trimmed head. What were you thinking of, dad? Someday I might be able to understand.

After the funeral and everything, the storm was gone--long gone. There was silence. Men were smoking out, and women were washing dishes and cleaning up the house. I was just sitting on tatami and did nothing, just staring at my dad smoking alone, petting the dog.

My aunt and I started to plan the date to get airplane tickets and train tickets. I left all to her. All I did was just talk to my dad. Just two of us.

He was still smoking. Silence. He soon started asking me how I had been in the states and how I liked my aunt's family. That's right; we didn't even have time to talk about such. He and I went for driving. Still smoking, he stopped the car at the bank river where we used to go fishing every day in summer when I was younger. It was almost dusk. His eyes were kind of wet. We didn't talk at all. The dusk was just beautiful.

About five days later, my aunt and I finally got tickets. Now we were leaving again. I promised my dad that if I couldn't get my TOEFL score up to the requirement this summer, I'd give up and come back to Japan.

It was my last chance.