After seeing how seriously ill my grandma had been, I did not know what to say or to do. So didn't my aunt.

Sometimes she just held my hand tightly, and so did I. It was as if she and I were in the different world from the one others were in. It might have been because neither of us had been with my grandma or seen her for a long time.

It was only two weeks ago. We'd talked with her, and she was superior. She'd just had a check-up, and the doctor told her that her body was so young, though she was 80 years old. She was happy, so were we.

Couldn't we go back? It was almost cruel for us to see her suffering from brain damages and pain from the surgery. She might not had felt any pain, but who knew. Nobody was she. No one was.

Sometimes she smiled. She moved her tightened face muscle and smiled at me, trying to touch my necklace that I got in Boston. She kept grabbing. Smiled.

Time flew by really fast. A week or so. She got a little better, so I had a chance to see my best friend in Okayama for two days. We talked a lot. Since then, he started call me "Yutaka." I didn't know why. May be for a change.

After coming back from Okayama, it was quick. My grandma passed away in a couple days.

Everyone was crying, so was I. It was a very cold morning. I wish I didn't have to come out of the blankets. If I hadn't, I might not had to see her go. I thought, "Life is cruel and disappointing."