It was about middle of May, right after my ESL class was over for the summer. It's been about 11 months, but I, who had not been able to pass TOEFL, was thinking about what I would do: go back to Japan without accomplishing anything, or stay here and study more.

I was 19 years old. I didn't have any power or any wealth to keep myself here in the states. I was kind of disappointed at my incapability to do well on tests. Then, I had an e-mail from my mother saying, "Emergency. Call me as soon as possible!"

My aunt and I sensed something, so she took the phone and called my mom in Japan, just to find out my grandma had been in a critical condition. She got airplane tickets for both of us as soon as she got off the phone.

Time flew really fast. Next time I noticed, I was already at the airport.

I was so nervous. Should I go back without any accomplishment? Am I qualified for that? Though I was really concerned of my grandma, I just didn't feel like I was allowed to go home. But I did anyway.

Everything was familiar. I had seen everything before. The same smell I had smelled. Nothing had changed. Had I changed at all? That was my question.

By the time we got to the hospital, everyone was there. Familiar faces and their voice. It was nice to see them again, though what had been waiting for me and my aunt wasn't easy reality at all. Yet both knew that we had to deal with it.

To me, this was a challenge that I had to pass, to prove that I'd learned something and changed. Even a little.