I brought our pack-away table to my children's school for my children's school bazzar.
But my mother is so worried that our table would be taken away by a stranger for it must be the newest of all that were offered for November 8 school bazzar.
I believe it won't taken away because all the tables and chairs have owners' names on them.
But she is still worried and tells me to get it back quickly.
Is she so suspecious?
Or is she so uninterested in community activities??
My younger daughter didn' go to school yesterday.
She said that she COULDN'T go because she had lots of unfinished Japanese and math assignments and was reluctant to take Japanese and math tests without preparation.
She repeated
"I know I have to go to school but I can't today, JUST today, ONLY today, I'm going from tomorrow, so please let me..."
The words above was quite the same as my elder daughter said sometimes at the deadlines of her assignments.
I consulted my husband about this matter and he said,
"she is just the same as her elder daughter, she avoids facing her disadvantages in her school life."
I've got so fearful.
The second selfish princess may be coming...
"Today" never ends in one day, it is repeated, she will want another "today" in her coming rough time...because it HAS BEEN repeated in absentees.
In my elder daughter's case, her refusals to go to school were repeated, at first occasionary, but they came to her more often, rather consecutively, and finally she lost her hope in school and has her days mainly at home...
I say to her, "you'll have choose one in your near future, the band and twirling or studying. You should quit the other one if you want better remarks and more time to study."
My husband told me that I didn't have to take the band and twirling away from her, but should teach her how to face her weak points staying in the band and her twirling team.
I don't want to force my younger daughter to leave the band and twirlking team, but I have to be strict for I just need to tell her the importance of studying regularly every day.
Since last autumn, my elder daughter has more of her weekdays staying at home.
She says that she won't go to school because she has got so uninteresting in studying the classes seems no use for her.
My godmother advised her one day, "You study more even if you stay home all day. Studying will make the classes more interesting."
And she told ME to LEAD her to study......
When she advises something to my daughters, she encourages them ordinarily at first. But if they rebel to her, she commands me to lead them to obey her!!!
The mother is the key to good children---she may believe in her subconscious, which she never tries to face.
It has been six months since my elder daughter became an "absentee".
My mother thinks studiousness will solve her problems, and my husband supposes her uncommunicative personality may be her obstacles to her school life.
I always wonder where my elder daughter's hopeless way of thinking comes from and consult various kinds of specialists about it, they give me very severe facts.
My 13 year-old daughter sometimes mumbles her current feelings to me, which I think are some of her true feelings.
I consider their words, and become sometimes horrible, sometimes desperate, and totally, at a loss.
That's why I need third party's opinions.
But she despises me consulting specialists about her. She says she feels as if I revealed my family's secrets to others to make her feel isolated...
These days I often recall the book "Kaze Kiru Tsubasa(風切る翼)" by Yuichi Kimura I read to fifth graders in class in February, whenever I see them playing or reading comic books together.
But my younger daughter rather rejects to act "the friend crane" so far.
Who can become my elder daughter's "friend crane"? Maybe he/she is the savior to my family!!!
My elder daughter went to school on time today.
It's not a special thing though, but today she arrived at school on time for the first time this year.
Since she was diagnosed with OD and adjustment disorders last autumn, she has been living a very selfish life.
She gets so angry when she is told to get up, but she remains in bed as long as she likes if there is no one to wake her up.
She doesn't feel she is resisting her school rules, saying "I'm just doing what I want. Is it wrong???"
She sometimes feels embarrassed when she sleeps in, but she never hurries to school.
She reluctantly goes to school very late, or she chooses to stay at home when she is embarrassed about being late.
I already told teachers that my daughter has become idle and self-centered because of her mental diseases, but it's also true, sadly, that her selfish attitude at school may reduce students' motivations.
I was scolded by my mother yesterday that I had to do my very best to arrange her happy school life though.
Should public schools accept any kinds of students who want to enter and absentees who want to stay resistered?
A few decades ago, I heard some handicapped students in junior high who were allowed to enter public schools and helped by whole students and teachers there.
But I don't think junior high students and teachers have enough time and energy to help only a few students with handicaps or trouble altogether.
They are too busy to manage themselves.
All of us must stand on our feet!!
These days, I often feel as if I were my daughters' punching bag.
They always tease me, indulge me, say my dishes are yucky, whatever, BUT (this is very important) they ask me lots and lots of favors!!!
Sometimes they yearn for toys, games, sometimes ask me to take them out for shopping.
If I take them out, my cleaning time at home has to be cut down.
And they blame me "clean the rooms more desperately", unaware that it's them to prevent me from cleaning....
If I say strictly to them "do your homework", they answer "later when we're in the mood of it".
But I never see my elder daughter study after that and my younger daughter starts her homework from next morning, just before she leave home for school!!!
And!!!!!!!
It's more serious when I keep my cool without scolding them.
They just enjoy themselves as much as they like with games, comic books and chatting until they become sleepy.........
.......and answer back the next day,
"I didn't do my homework yesterday 'cause you didn't say study last night!!!"
Holy Jesus!!!!
They say it's all MY fault!!!!
Also, they once said they needed to be cruel to me to be good to OTHER people.....
What shall I do??????
長女の中2らいふ|My Elder Daughter's Second Year in Junior High School April 8, 2008
Since Last Autumn, she has been ill especially in the morning.
She often remains in bed even after her school start time.
She says it very tough for her to get ready for school quickly around an hour.
Her school sports teams start morning practices at 7:30 a.m. and the school band seems to start earlier, and the classroom activities start at 8:10.
The problem is.........................
when she gets up at 6:30, I, not only me but other family members think she can make it to her morning practice, "Oh,no!! I've slept in!!! I can't make it any longer, it's no use if I join the practice late", she persists.
She just loathes hectic mornings, but I can't help feeling something unnatural in her behavior.
The doctor tells me OD patients become ill easily in hectic situations, and I understand that I should not scold her often even if she behaves lazily, BUT......
I can't stand imaging that she JUSTIFIES her slow and irresponsible lifestyle for her OD, without any effort to get along at school.
So this morning too, I was strict to her on purpose.
But after her leaving home, my heart was filled with relief...
癒しを求める娘たち | My Daughters' Hobbies February 8, 2008
My daughters have been deeply into pet fish since last month.
Last month, they wanted me to get bee shrimps, which were very expensive and difficult to keep.
I have had various kinds of pet fish for more than five years though, but the first one was simple cheap goldfish.
I started tropical fish in the spring of 2006, which were more costly but more beautiful.
They are easier to keep than goldfish in winter, but much more difficult in summer.
We may think tropical fish is strong in hot weather since they live in hot countries, but it is not true.
We need to get their tanks air-conditioned in summer!! ---we need to control their tank water temperatures flat the year round.
Fish and shrimps refresh me and my daughters a lot, but they consume lots of electricity too.
That's why my mother loaths pet fish...
She is uninterested in foreign languages and despise me for murmuring English during my housework.
子供が行儀が悪い、目上の人に従わない
(電子辞書の英英:---behaving badly; not willing to obey)
種の「悪い」です。
また、3段落目を見ると、3行目:
He knows if you'VE BEEN bad or good
とあるんで、「クリスマスシーズンの頃だけいい子にしているような子はいい子リストには載らない」のだから、極端な話、サンタクロースからプレゼントを貰えないだろう子供は、決してゼロではないんじゃないかな・・・と。
---これを親の立場から解釈すると・・・
「サンタ業は必ずしなければならないものではない」
「プレゼントを手にすることで健全育成が損なわれるような子にはプレゼントを与えないこともできる」
のかな????
な~~~んてね。
Building Self Confidence [English] November 22, 2007
In the previous entry, I wrote about the importance of self confidence.
What we call "strong" people have attained it already, so they can keep their cool and always be what they are.
"It's completely up to you to create an image of the one you can never beat, you all can win shiais if you just do what you have learned through your practices after having self confidence."
---his son's kendo teachers always say to their students, even after shiais.
The day before yesterday, there was an awarding celemony of the essay contest for junior high students at Ibaraki Prefectural Library.
It was one of the assignments given for summer vacation.
My elder daughter's slogan (that was not a summer assignment but a work she did at social studies class) got a prize, but this time, I couldn't delight the prize.
I know I SHOULD delight it, but I was too worn out to do it in the days with my elder daughter sleeping late until before noon and sometimes staying at home all day.
Or rather,
She would be a NEET who waste national tax if I accepted her current lifstyle, I must correct it.
---I thought after the celemony.
These days, she gets up over 9 a.m., and sometimes after noon.
One of her doctors said that it was because of hypoglycemia, which made her wake up late and idly stay at home.
I've been struggling hard to look for a place to study with flexible schedules for her, hoping that she will get used to become active from the mornig.
I'm studying about low-carbohydrate diet, that is very good for irritation and apathy from hypoglycemia, hoping that she can enjoy her school again when she recovers her health.
Now I believe it's essential to live a stable life in her future, even though she ends up in a homemaker or interior decorator, it IS very important to be able to get up early and to be active at daytime.
Yesterday, she went to school while I was out looking for a private school with flexible schedule.
My mother took her by taxi on the way to her business.
I didn't expect her to go to school, and thought it a real big progress.
But I wondered one thing and asked her:
"Why do you refuse school lunch?"
She answered, "there's very little things I enjoy eating; some of them I hate, the others I'm allergic to."
"Is it possible for you to bring a lunchbox with you or have luch at home?", I said. But school lunch was her top secret she didn't want to talk about.
"School with no school lunch is my favorite place!! I don't even need good remarks for it, since I'm an USELESS person you know."
---she got so furious and was stubbornly shut in the car sobbing.
I found her self conficence was severely ruined, and it was us adults to ruin it subliminally, so she had to withdraw...
These days, I feel "the digital world" growing so rapidly, which is described in "Digimon Adventure" series.
The first animation was broadcast from April 1999 to March 2000, and I firstly watched it with my children in about December of 1999, and gradually got into it.
It was from 2000 to 2002 when we eagerly watched "Digimon" series on TV.
My elder daughter at that time fascinated the digimons, but I felt in each story something so grave, even philosophical, containing a warning to Japan in the near future.
I remember hearing the words
"The gate of the digital world opens where there's a PC",
in Digimon Adventure 02 (Season 2), and now that PCs and the internet became so popular amoung us, I'm afraid that my elder daughter has felt more eased in the digital world (=while she is on the net) than in her real daily life.
Actually, there are a lot of absured adults and society in our real life, for example, sexual perverts and annonymous frauds.
Some popular TV programs are so vulgar that I loathe them and don't want to watch them to my children.
We adults can't always blame children if they have no dreams, aims, or ambitions in this harsh and cruel world.
I've found some online entertainments less vulgar to youths than absured talk shows on TV, so I was less nervous to my elder daughter surfing the net until last month.
But...this month...I thought she has dropped into the digital world, since she refuses to do her assignments, prefers sitting up late to getting up early, and what I concern the most is that promises with online friends have become important than those with her parents and grandparents to my elder daughter.
So, I decided that I disconnect the TV cable and the internet modem every day before my children come home.
I must show my children how slowly and gently time goes in the world without mass media.
Oh, I'd better be going!! Here they come, I should log out quickly and turn off my laptop...
Swimming for Children with Eczema [English] August 18, 2007
My three children were told from their doctor that they were all atopic in their infancy.
All of them have sensitive skins and food allergy to particular products, but only my elder daughter has chronic eczema.
My son often gets severe heat rash in summer and used to suffer from nose bleeding, and my younger daughter has asthma.
Each of them needs different medicines, ointments, and inhalers, but it seems for other people that my children understand each other's diseases since they are all atopic.
But, unluckily, my elder daughter have had sad times in swimming classes at school and kindergarten because of her eczema.
Even on a intolerably hot day, she hasn't been able to swim in the pool or the sea.
I understand that is her very big problem, the much much bigger one than I imagine, which makes her inconfident somehow.
Severe eczema often prevents patients from sleeping tight.
Eczema children's parents make efforts to keep their skins smooth, and try everything good for them---particular supplement pills, famous doctors visits however far their offices are from their house, special soaps or shampoos and so on.
Actually, I chose to use soaps made by DHC, since I read on a brochure that they were gentle to skins with eczema.
But the biggest effort I've made for soothing eczema is to curb my children's desire for swimming, or rather, I've ignored their unconscious interest in it, because I'd been so afraid of chlorinated water of swimming pools.
About three years ago, the public spa named "Hororu-no-Yu (meaning "Owls' Spa"?)" was opened in Johoku town (now it's Shirosato town).
It has two indoor bathrooms and one outdoor tub, and also an indoor swimming pool with lightly chlorinated water compared with public outdoor pools and swimming club pools.
All of my family were so relieved to hear it, and began to go there at least once in summer.
Even though my children are not so good at swimming, they've come to enjoy it.
To my surprise, my elder daughter said in the pool the other day,
"Swimming is a big fun even though my face is sore!!"
I'd considered I must have prevented things which made her eczema worse or sore.
But that was not really what she needed to control it, I realized what I thought "care" sometimes ruined her potential and even discouraged her a lot.
These days, my younger daughter's skin condition is getting worse.
She says her legs and feet itch severely.
She hasn't had asthma attacks for over a year, but I'm worrying she will get eczema instead in her adolescence like her big sister.
But I'm sure I'll be less upset, and think I will be able to give her more chance to content her needs and dreams.
Now I've learned that self contentment is the best medicine for eczema.