--- is here.

My Work and Life Records in English

Your comments show up soon on my new English blog, but it recommends you to be a WordPress blogger or comment with your twitter's or your Facebook's account.

Here and on my WordPress blog, I write my entries with my real name.

Thank you for giving me a great chance and place to polish my English!

This year is the third year of my life with Bee Shrimps.

I've had a really great time with them.

But today, although it's St.Valentine's Day, I decided to say farewell to them.

Maybe I shouldn't have had them; I could have quit it in 2006 when my goldfish were all gone instead of taking guppies home.

It was my older daughter that wanted bee shrimps in 2008 and I was rather anxious about having them.
But once I took them home, I got so deeply into them I grew spinach and rape myself to feed them.
Shrimps eating boiled spinach leaves or rape leaves were really cuuuuute '-)

Now I remember why I allowed my older daughter to have them three years ago.
The reason is....

bee shrimps pays.

Why do they pay????

--- Fishkeepers need to find a fish shop or other people that take care of their fishes in case they can't continue to keep them anymore.
It's very hard to find the next owner, but if they bring popular species of fish to a fish shop, they can get a refund.
Actually, I have seen some customers who got refunds from their shrimps a couple of times when I visited my favorite fish shop.

Through the years I've enjoyed aquarium, my mother constantly complained of my tanks to me at the same time.
She even came down on me saying "you're a nut wasting your husband's money just to enjoy yourself" or "you have to quit keeping fishes to save money."
Her words influenced me a lot, and little by little I learned that I must quit aquarium SOMEDAY in my family's financial crisis.

The "someday" has come, not only as my family's financial crisis but also as my son's mental crisis.
And it's withough saying that I have too worn out to take care of fishes in my recent circumstances. &.(..

Today is the first day of high school entrance exams in Ibaraki.

I hope they can do their very best in their exams!

冬の定番、キットカットがリニューアル！合計￥2400以上送料無料！ネスレ キットカットミニ 15... 価格：298円（税込、送料別）

Yesterday, we handed "kitkat" to the ninth graders who take entrance exams today after they finished their lessons.
Kitkat is given to those who have tests or exams wishing for their luck.

I do want to say,
that high school entrance exams are never goals;
university entrance exams are not either.
Even after going into the workforce,
only the people who keep on studying can survive.

I hear sometimes that some of you think
that you're looking forward to enjoying yourselves
after your high school entrance exams.
But I don't think
that lives only with pleasure are not as fruitful as you imagine.
We need to bear some hardship to make our happy times shine.
It's our efforts that make our lives meaningful.

I myself have had some tough times before getting my current job,
and even now I have a hard time at work
making me think I must study more.
It's for a promotion in a sense,
but that's not the only reason
for me to continue to learn English.
I need to stand on my feet,
mentally and financially.
I keep my study of English even after I grew up,
believing that constantly studying will save me
from a sudden layoff or some other burdens on business.

Remember,
to live is to keep improving!

I don't understand the difference among neglecting, discipline, and acceptance in my parenting.
Neither I know whether I can try to share children's unconsious feelings or I shouldn't.

I do want to share my children's (other people's in general too) feelings to develop a good rapport among them.
But my older daughter hates me listening to them.
She sometimes says when talking with me,
"Please don't read my mind!!"
Since I started teaching English again in summer in 2009, she also tells me not to get friendly or dear to my current and prospective students.
I wonder why she says so.
Both in family and in classes, close relationships can be built as the fruit of mutual understanding.

I was diagnosed that I was an ACoA in June of 2009, so I try to have some time for self-searching to reflect my parenting in the past and ideas for improving my communication skills.

I had believed that children should behave themselves and be motivated at schools.
I myself was taught by my mother that I must do well at schools to lead a happy life with a good salary.
I used to feel that my father encouraged me saying "study hard every day and always behave yourself."
Actually I did my very best to please my parents; frankly, to be praised by my parents.
Of course I studied hard at school, especially English.
I was devoted to it so deeply that I became a junior high English teacher in 1991.

But my hard times came AFTER my graduation.
I got suspicious at my workplace (a public junior high school) of the theory I studied at the university.
The teaching strategies there were quite different from what I was given.
I thought at that time that Japanese English teachers just had to teach students how to get a better score and spend more time disciplining them to be modest.

Gradually, I felt something wrong with my body at first.
I caught colds very often.
I had very little appetite.
I always felt blue, sometimes blank and wanted a time to be completely alone.
I learned later, in 2004, that these symptoms were caused by depression.

Of course I never had fruitful times with students then.
I could barely manage myself.
I was mentally too exhausted to recall why I chose to become a teacher.

In 1993, I resigned from the junior high school for my marrige.
I married my current husband to be celebrated when I left my workplace.
I feared that my boss and colleagues would want me to get out in secret; in fact, I had become a very lazy teacher who did not attend very ofen, but I wished to be celebrated at least on my last day there.

I gave birth to my older daughter in 1994, my son in 1996, and my younger daughter in 1998.
My life as a mother with very little self esteem has been very tough.
At first, I traced my mother's way of parenting.
She also said "everything is all right as long as you follow me", and I followed her.
In the 13th year I had followed her, my older daugher refused to go to school.

I pray,
for precious students,
that they keep going for their goals.

Some of them are taking Eiken tests today.
I do hope they can do their best!

And for me,
that I can update my TOEIC test score
on October 31.
It leads to MY Eiken test next January.

I went to the chiropractician's office last Sunday.
Although my second therapy was scheduled next week, but I felt so ill last Saturday that I was late for work.

The next day morning, headache and neck pain hit me too.
I called the chiropractician and told him my condition.
He kindly made me an appointment for four p.m. and straightened my neck and back.

He advised me that I should visit him once a week, because my spine condition was not a little worse than he diagnosed the first time, and frequent visit to his office would be good not only for my neck pain or headache but also for mental relief.